Dear Jack VS Chuck,
I am a college student and my roommate never cleans up
his side of the room. It is disgusting. He lives on the side
of the room closest to the door so not only do I have to
see (and smell) his mess I have to walk through it to get
to my bed. I have asked him in the past to clean up. I have
even cleaned some of it myself, but I refuse to be his maid.
How can I get him to keep the place somewhat clean?
This is what Jack Bauer would do:
First Jack Bauer would make a visit to his roommate's hometown.
He would take high zoom black and white photos of his roommate's
family, including the dog. Upon getting back to school he would
advise his roommate it is in his family's best interest for
him to clean up his half of the room within an hour, then drop
a manila envelope with the photos in it on his bed.
This would be Jack's first and only warning. If the room were
not cleaned within an hour, Jack would use the following 23
hours to make sure his roommate understood the severity of
his lack of action.
Jack Bauer would hide in the closet awaiting the return of
his roommate. When his roommate walks in the room Jack would
throw a bag over his head and tie him to a chair. He would
shoot his roommate in both kneecaps and threaten to cut off
each of his fingers unless he cleaned up the room.
This is what Chuck Norris would do:
Chuck Norris would administer several roundhouse kicks to
the head for each minute that his roommate refused to clean
up his half of the room.
Either approch should work. Good Luck.